Ashley Stephen Chau

Penang

I can relate closely and personally to the story of the man who ran towards Jesus to ask Him, “Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?” (Mark 10:17). From a very young age, I developed the unfortunate habit of ‘running away’ in the face of crisis or conflict. Running seems to be the most logical choice; if I cannot resolve the problem, the best thing to do was to pretend it never existed and hoped that it will find its own resolution and answer.

In 2015, when I felt the stirring and attraction towards priesthood, the response was somewhat understandable. I ran away… again. The vocation to the priesthood seemed counter-natural to me, while the lure of a life of total personal freedom appeared very attractive. A year later however, I once again felt disillusioned with life. The life that I had imagined to promise much happiness turned out to be a cistern of seawater; the more I drink, the more I thirst. It was not for the lack of anything good in my working career, financial or relationship that caused me to be disenchanted. It was in the midst of a life of total freedom that ironically, was when I felt lost and deeply dissatisfied.

A year later, I arrived to the same point as the man who met our Lord, with my own question: “Lord, what must I do to gain lasting happiness?” And just like the man in Mark’s gospel, the Lord gently invited me to follow Him. As I looked back towards the past, I realised that the happiest and most joyful moments in my life were those that were spent in the parish with my brothers and sisters in Christ; in the ministries, fellowship and the events that we shared together. I decided to consider priesthood as a vocation seriously, and for the next 2 years met regularly with my Spiritual Director. His guidance, patience and wise counsels assuage many of the fears and reservations that I may have had about the priesthood and helped me to become better informed about this call.

I am currently in my final philosophy year in College General and so far I have benefitted tremendously from the formation. To be honest, I do not know where and how this journey will end, but I have the confidence and have experienced, that the Lord who has called me to walk on this journey will continue to be by my side till the end. Together with my favourite saint, St Thomas Aquinas, I can say, “Domine, non nisi Te”, “I desire nothing but only You, my Lord.”

Ashley