Xavier Sinnapan a/l Maniam

Melaka-Johor

As with many vocations, mine began within my family. I was blessed to be born to parents who loved God and loved me. I was the youngest in my family and became a little brother to six siblings over the course of fourteen years. It was in this setting that I came to know God loved me, and I learned how to love Him. From an early age, my parents taught me that loving and serving God was the most important adventure of life, and this included the possibility of God calling me to the priesthood.

While I cannot say I have always known I wanted to be a priest, I certainly look back now and see how God was planting seeds in me regarding priesthood from a young age. I remember as a small child playing Mass with my siblings in the living room and imitating the role of the priest. One of the priests I looked up to throughout my childhood was Rev Father Devadasan, who was a diocesan priest in the Malacca Johor Diocese. One of the highlights of my young life that I still remember very well was receiving my first communion, and I was also very excited when I was finally old enough to serve at Holy Mass as a server boy.

All this was changed while I was excelling in my studies as time went on. I was more attracted to being an educated person. I enrolled in my undergraduate and was offered a scholarship to do my postgraduate as well. I managed to go to an extent where I was able to sit in a position, a position as a teacher. My career continued for up to 9 years, and in this period of time I was living life with plenty of money, and I enjoyed life. Someday in between, I felt my life had no excitement and started to question why it was very dry even though I had everything that I wanted. I always question God “what you have planned for me". Until I met a guest priest from India, Fr Stalin, who gave me an answer to my question to God. On Holy Thursday in the year 2018, God gave me an answer and reminded me of my childhood promise that I said that I would become a priest.

From that day onwards, I felt my life like a new blossom flower. Happiness overflowed. I have prepared myself to join the seminary quickly. God opens the way for me. Every process was very smooth. This time I have only been in the seminary for one year, but I am overwhelmed by the immense blessings and graces our Lord has given me in this journey. Very few are able to experience the spiritual, personal and academic formation that is woven into our daily life. It has been such a joy for me to study philosophy and theology in order to go deeper into the mysteries and the beauty of our Catholic faith. I have also been blessed by the fraternity and comradery of my seminarian brothers as we walk this journey towards priesthood together. And most importantly, as I grow in my vocation at the seminary, I also grow daily in my relationship with God, who is the source and summit of my being, and who loves me more than I could ever conceive.

Certainly, with these come challenges, all stemming from the fact that at the seminary I have to confront myself fully, which includes my many weaknesses, faults, and sins. Confronting these things means dying to myself and putting my confidence in the saving power and mercy of Christ, and this is not an easy, overnight or painless undertaking. My ultimate desire is to love and serve Jesus Christ, and if it is His will for me to become His priest, then my hope is that I may be a faithful and holy priest who is able to give my life to others as Jesus did. I ask the faithful to keep me in their prayers, and I pray that God would send the Holy Spirit upon our beloved diocese, especially Bishop Bernard Paul and all the priests serving in communion with him. Holy Mary, our mother, pray for us!

By: Sinnapan Maniam or Xavier