Matthew Lo Nam Yee

Kota Kinabalu

I am blessed to be born into a catholic family and to have been baptized when I was only 3-weeks old. Though I have never doubted the existence of an Almighty Father, God to me was only a “Santa Claus”, where His sole duty was to grant me my wishes. Religious stuff was never something I was interested in. When my mother asked me if I wanted to be an altar server, my immediate response to her was “what for?”. After receiving confirmation, I happily assumed I had graduated from the Church.

Rebellious as I was, God heard my prayer of wanting to be a teacher. At the training college, joining religion-based clubs is compulsory. It was in the Christians fellowship; I had my first experience of encountering Christians of other denominations. To my surprise, they all seemed to know a lot about the Bible and could quote it spontaneously. Attracted by their enthusiasm and friendliness, I joined them actively. However, I also found that their beliefs appeared to be different from mine, though I couldn’t really explain the differences.

They sometimes asked all kinds of questions about my Church and her beliefs, which included, “why do you have to confess your sins to a priest, instead of asking forgiveness directly from God” and “since Jesus Christ is the only mediator between God and man, why do you have to ask Mother Mary to intercede?” I had no answers to all those questions. This situation made me question my own faith and wonder if I should continue to be a Catholic. From then, I started to search for answers. The more I read, the more I found how beautiful the teachings of the Catholic Church are, and I was convinced that Jesus only established ‘one, holy, catholic and apostolic’ Church. As I deepened my faith in this process of discovery, I was often invited to give sharing sessions, including during our gatherings and inter-churches concerts. During this time, the frightening question of joining the priesthood came into my mind.

Posted back to my hometown as a teacher, the feeling of having no support in my discipleship led my heart to search for a community. I slipped in during many talks in parishes and quietly sat at the back as I knew no one. I ended up joining the Chinese youth of my parish. Only within a short period, I was asked to give sharing on topics. Not long after that, I started to receive more and more invitations to speak to different ministries in my parish, at other parish-level events, in other parishes, and even dioceses as well as regional events.

The question of the vocation to the priesthood grew even stronger as more and more people asked if I had ever considered being a priest. I tried very hard to escape, gave excuses that I already had a sacred vocation because of my ideal career which provided me with a good income, surrounded by “angelic beings” every day - and also my family needed me financially. Gently but persistently, God kept knocking at the door of my heart for years until I could no longer resist. I can’t deny the fact that I have found fulfilment in serving the Church and have always intended to give myself to the Lord in a more meaningful way.

After years of discernment, I decided to trust the Lord’s invitation to “put out into deep water”, for He is faithful, and will not fail anyone who trusts in Him. I do not know where this path will lead me to, “but I know who holds tomorrow, and I know who holds my hand”.

Matthew Lo