Markarthur Steve Bailon

Keningau

I believe that all of us are called by God to answer His call and that it all depends on us, whether or not we want to answer the call. How did I get the inspiration or what inspired me to answer this calling? It started when I was 11- years old and it was in the church where I saw the priest celebrating the Eucharist. At that moment I was captivated by the sight of the priest lifting the Bread and the Chalice filled with Wine. Even though I did not have any real idea of what the priest was doing, I was filled with awe, love and respect for HIM. I believe the seed of my vocation started to grow from that moment but it was still ambiguous.

When I entered high school especially when I was in Form 4, I started to feel the longings for God. Prior to that, there had been ups and downs in my calling, but I had never taken seriously the feelings that I had. So, when I tried to escape from these feelings, though sometimes I wanted to respond, there were many other thoughts and concerns in my mind: thinking about my future, the job that I wanted or sometimes even doubting myself and asking the question "am I worthy enough to answer this call?" The longing feelings still lingered inside my heart but they s vague.

How did I got the courage to answer HIS call? I was working as a driver to send vegetables from Tambunan to Kota Kinabalu and along the way, there are churches and chapels. A day that I cannot forget and still remember clearly was the day that I started to feel that God was really calling me. When I was passing the churches and chapels along the way to Kota Kinabalu, I had a longing feeling that was so intense that I almost felt like I wanted to cry but I could not, and all I could think of was that I wanted to enter the church or the chapel just to spend some time with Jesus, in front of the Blessed Sacrament. It is difficult to explain how I felt at that time, but it was the day that I decided to participate in a vocation seminar that was held in Bundu Tuhan.

After the vocation seminar, I was not accepted but I was asked to go for a vocation retreat that was held in my diocese which was in the Retreat House Center in Keningau. Throughout the retreat, I could feel the longings inside me that were still burning. So, after the retreat, we were asked to go for a vocation seminar which was the second time that I had joined such an event. Happily, I was accepted to enter into Formation House in 2019 in the Catholic Archdiocese Center (CAC), Kota Kinabalu, or the English year(s). After one year in CAC and having achieved the language band requirement, I was accepted to enter into St. Peter's College Initiation Year (IY) in Kota Kinabalu, where our spirituality was emphasized.

I finished Initiation Year last year and now I am continuing my Formation here in College General in Philosophy. I am often surprised that I have come so far, and thank the Lord for having given me such steadfast faith throughout my journey.

Overhearing what they said, Jesus told him, "Don't be afraid; just believe." (Mark 5:36)

Markarthur